Office Hours Read online

  Marie fidgeted with her name plate – “Marie Lau, Ethnic Studies” – for a while before she answered. “Got the phone interview.”

  “Good,” Deja cried.

  “Good, my ass,” Toni cut in. “She’s been teaching more than a full load for that department for four years. A phone interview for the job she’s already doing is the least they can do.” Toni gently nudged the container of muffins back toward Marie as she spoke.

  Marie grabbed another muffin and took a smaller bite.

  “It’ll be ‘good,’” Toni continued, “when they start paying her and all the other adjuncts what they’re worth, put them on the tenure track and give them professional development money.”

  Marie put the rest of her muffin on a napkin and plucked another from the stack to wipe her mouth and hands. She finally pulled the strap of her bag over her head and dropped it on the floor. She shifted in her chair, moving the littlest bit away from Toni and Deja.

  They knew Marie was often uncomfortable talking about her job, so they took her silent cue and dropped the subject, but Deja reached around Ton to squeeze Marie’s elbow lightly. Marie didn’t make eye contact, but Deja saw a small smile on her lips.

  The room was louder now as more faculty arrived and chatted before the meeting started. Deja took this time to pull up the essays she needed to grade, ready to get a head start on her work, but she was interrupted when Toni leaned into her side.

  “Look who’s here,” Toni whispered to Deja.

  Deja automatically slumped down in her chair and narrowed her eyes, refusing to respond.

  “Oh, don’t hide now girl. Your man has arrived,” Toni cackled.

  “He’s not my man. Shut up.”

  “And with that attitude, he never will be.” Marie huffed a small breath of laughter that sounded so loud to Deja’s affronted ears.

  Deja could feel her face heating and sweat forming at her hairline, but she refused to look up. Toni and Marie did this to her every month. Apparently teasing her about her crush on Alejandro was the highlight of the Faculty Senate meeting for them. Meanwhile, every month Deja wished she could crawl under the table and hide, but that would probably only make her friends cackle loud enough to get the entire auditorium’s attention, including Alejandro’s, and the thought of him seeing her like that made her want to expire and leave this plane of existence behind for good.

  “Oh, that’s a nice suit,” Marie said, leaning into Toni’s side and shoving her harder into Deja’s body. “Is that a new tie?”

  “How should I know?” Deja huffed weakly.

  Toni cackled. “Because we all know the only person who knows Alejandro’s wardrobe better than you is…him. So, is that a new addition or not?”

  Deja scowled at her friends gleeful faces as they waited for an answer or for Deja to overheat and start to melt from embarrassment, whatever came first; they weren’t picky and any form of entertainment – even at her expense – would appease them. She glanced at the clock on her laptop and saw that the meeting was set to start any second. This was her friends’ terrible genius. If she wanted to take one good look at Alejandro before the meeting started – and she wanted to do so with the thin veneer of a casual perusal instead of schoolgirl crush – she needed to do it before the Senate President started the meeting. Even though she’d just seen him in the coffee shop, she hadn’t had much time to drink him in like she wanted to. And she did really want to see him, touch him, taste him; a fact that her friends knew all too well.

  Deja rolled her eyes, pushed an annoyed breath out of her nostrils and sat up in her chair. She tried to play it cool, dipping her head to stare – unseeing – at the screen for a second, before she slowly lifted her eyes to look just over the top of her laptop screen. She could have done a lazy, scan around the auditorium, but she didn’t have time. Or maybe she just lied to herself about that last part because she was excited to get see Alejandro again. Pathetic, she thought to herself with a sigh as her eyes settled on him at once.

  To be fair, she’d discovered months ago that she could find her crush in any crowd, big or small, with very little effort; a garbage superpower, only eclipsed by her ability to make daily lists of tasks she never completed. It helped that Alejandro liked to sit in the upper tier as well and usually in a place where Deja – and unfortunately Toni and Marie – had an unobstructed view of him. And what a view.

  Alejandro was standing. While Deja watched, he pulled the strap of his artfully worn and stylish leather satchel over his head. Deja swallowed a lump in her throat when his vest lifted the tiniest bit to expose his button up denim shirt – a look she was certain no one could pull off except him – tucked into his jeans. The fabric pulled taut over his stomach and she swore she could see each ripple of his abs; or at least the abs she’d imagined there on more than hundreds of occasions. He leaned over to place his bag on the table in front of him and Deja’s eyes lifted to his face. Her fingers flexed on the table in front of her and then his eyes lifted and crashed into hers. He held her gaze as he stood straight and began to take off his suit jacket, slowly. But maybe this was just Deja’s brain once again stretching this moment out so she could take everything in for perfect masturbatory recall later, like tonight.

  She didn’t know what to make of the fact that Alejandro watched her watching him as he pulled his jacket from his broad shoulders, but she didn’t care to dissect it since he looked so good. He had every bit of her attention – and probably half of the room as well – as he neatly folded his jacket over the back of his chair and unbuttoned the bottom button of his vest.

  Deja heard someone sigh, and her face heated again. She was certain that sigh had been hers. And then her sex clenched. This was the single most erotic few seconds of her day – hell, maybe even her week – and it was happening in full view of faculty from across campus. This was worse than pathetic.

  She should have been ashamed that he’d caught her staring at him twice in less than an hour, but this wasn’t exactly the first time that had happened. Thankfully, he never confronted her about her staring – maybe she was better at hiding her lustful thoughts – but god it was embarrassing; not that her hormones could differentiate between the heat of embarrassment and arousal at this moment.

  When he finally looked away to pull his chair out and sit, Deja exhaled long and loud, as if she’d been holding her breath through that entire ordeal. Because she had.

  She watched as he set his nameplate on the table facing her – Alejandro Mendoza, History – and turned to the man next to him – Michael Hernandez, Natural Sciences – and struck up a conversation.

  Toni grabbed her nameplate and started fanning herself. Marie snatched Deja’s muffin and took a bite.

  “I need a cigarette,” Toni said.

  “Oh my god, shut up,” she said, ducking her head and swiping at her damp hairline surreptitiously. “The tie is definitely new,” she added, licking her lips.

  And I want to take it off him with my teeth, she didn’t say.

  3.

  The next two and a half hours didn’t really fly by so much as crawl slowly toward death like a zombie that hadn’t gotten a kill shot yet. Or at least that’s how Deja thought her twelve-year-old nephew would have described it, but he could find a way to compare most things to zombies.

  They’d just handed in their last ballot and were waiting in annoyance as the Secretary read out the final tally of their votes and then, finally, the end of September’s Faculty Senate Meeting arrived with a very sedate announcement.

  “Motion to adjourn this month’s meeting,” Dr. Chris Branford, College of Business, Senate President said.

  “Seconded,” Sheila Meyer, Senate Secretary, replied.

  “We are adjourned,” Chris said in an unnaturally cheery voice that Deja absolutely related to.

  And just like that the dead quiet of the auditorium burst into the specific kind of excited chatter that Deja only heard at the end of these monthly meetings.

&nb
sp; Marie all but sprinted out of the auditorium with a blind wave over her head to Deja and Toni. She had a class to teach in ten minutes on the other side of campus and not a spare second to waste.

  Toni and Deja were already packed up and darted out of the auditorium behind Marie, moving fast enough to avoid getting pulled into conversations they didn’t care about with people they didn’t like.

  Outside of the building, Deja turned to Toni. “I need to go to my office. I left my laptop charger. You coming?”

  Toni opened her mouth but then snapped her jaw shut. Deja furrowed her brow just before his voice caught her attention, and not just because his voice was deep and gentle, but also because it was so close.

  “Are you going to Mark?” Alejandro asked.

  This wasn’t the first time Deja had heard Alejandro speak, obviously, but it was the first time she’d heard his voice all day. Normally they passed each other at least once in the hallways of their building and he would smile at her and say hi. Sometimes she heard him speaking to a colleague down the hall and the deep timbre of his laughter would settle into her stomach. But it was like her body never quite got used to it and the first time she heard it after a while always unsettled her, but in the most deliciously sensual way. At least in their building she could shut her office door or hide in a bathroom stall and will her nerves to settle before she had to interact with people again, waiting until she felt less raw with need. Or maybe just until she felt able to better hide the fact that the sound of Alejandro Mendoza’s voice had a tendency to make the hair on her arms stand up and her pussy wet. But there was no warning or place to hide in front of Founders Hall, surrounded by faculty from all over the university and her best work friend, and not with him so close.

  Deja turned slowly around to see Alejandro smiling at her, his brown eyes big and friendly and also maybe intense.

  “I…,” she hesitated, licked her lips, watched him watch her lick her lips and then swallowed. “Yeah, I just need to pick up my charger.”

  “I’m heading over there too. Can I walk with you?”

  Deja was nodding before she decided to say yes, and Alejandro’s mouth spread into a soft smile. It was a mild afternoon in early fall, but Deja felt as if she was standing under a midsummer sun, which is to say she was pouring sweat under her clothes. Gross.

  “Are you coming as well?” he asked Toni, speaking over Deja’s head.

  Deja didn’t turn to look at her friend at first. She got distracted watching Alejandro’s profile, the way the muscles in his jaw moved as he spoke, the faint gray at his temple, his long, dark eyelashes. She had to shake herself to turn to Toni who was shaking her head and backing away.

  “No thanks. I’ve got to go feed my cat before he shreds something expensive. See you two later.”

  Toni locked wide eyes with Deja. Alejandro turned away to say goodbye to Mike and Toni took the opportunity to mouth “oh my god” to Deja before turning and practically jogging away. Deja watched as Toni pulled a folder from her shoulder bag and began to fan herself.

  “Ready?” Alejandro asked, making Deja jump. His hand lightly cupped her elbow and her mouth went dry.

  This might not have been the first time they’d ever spoken but Deja was certain that this was the first time they’d ever touched. She decided she’d have to have her glass of wine in an ice-cold bath tonight and then she squeaked out a reply that wasn’t much more than a high-pitched suggestion of a word, but it didn’t sound like anything intelligible to her own ears. She had no idea what it must have sounded like to him, but he didn’t seem deterred and that gorgeous curve of a smile didn’t budge.

  He tightened his grip on her slightly and steered her toward the green expanse of the North Oval, leading her across the lawn to their building.

  “Are you going home now, or do you have more work to do?” he asked her, once they’d separated from the crowd.

  Deja had to take a deep breath before she could answer. The word “home,” fell from her lips in another squeak. She cleared her throat and continued in a slightly stronger voice. “I mean I have more work to do, but I just want to get off campus. You? Are you heading home?” Those were more words than she’d ever said to him at one time and her eyes widened in shock.

  “I wish,” he said. “I’ve got some grading to do before my graduate class tonight. I’ll be here for a while.”

  “Oh, okay. Sucks,” she said, cringing that her PhD hadn’t prepared her for more intelligent conversation.

  But Alejandro laughed, a deep sultry rumble Deja felt in her bones and the hardening tips of her nipples. “It absolutely sucks.”

  She turned to look at him, wanting to see the way his laughter changed his face, even if only in profile, but he was looking at her full on and his laughter kind of lit up his features as if he was lit from within. Or maybe that was her overactive imagination again. Either way, she sucked in a breath as he looked at her. She watched as his crow’s feet and laugh lines deepened and the flash of his pink tongue peeked from behind his teeth.

  And then Deja realized that his hand was still at her elbow.

  “Ay yo, Professor Mendoza, push back tomorrow’s quiz,” someone yelled from the East lawn, breaking the moment between them.

  Alejandro turned and Deja sucked in a deep, nervous breath before she looked around him to see a group of boys huddled around a soccer ball.

  Alejandro yelled back in Spanish and they all threw their hands up, laughing and shaking their heads before resuming their game.

  “What’d you say?” Deja asked.

  “I told them the chances of me pushing back the quiz are as high as the chances of a communist revolution in Argentina.”

  Deja rolled her eyes and quirked one eyebrow up, “Historians.”

  Alejandro laughed. “I know, I know. We’re very corny. Your eyebrow doesn’t have to judge me so hard.”

  Deja laughed and they continued strolling, unhurried toward their building. His hand stayed at her elbow and their bodies bumped together with every other step.

  At Mark Hall, Alejandro opened the exterior door for her. She smiled, ducked her head, and brushed past him to walk inside. All the oldest buildings on campus were clustered around the North Oval and Mark was one of the oldest. It was squat and brick and always a little too cold in winter and too hot in the spring. It was four floors: a student computer lab in the basement, the History Department on the first floor, Political Science on the second and Sociology on the top floor.

  Deja walked up the short flight of stairs to the first-floor landing. “Thanks,” she said, turning around to face Alejandro. She wished this moment didn’t have to end, but also, she hadn’t quite taken an easy breath in a few moments and that, plus Alejandro’s nearness, was starting to make her feel lightheaded.

  “Anytime,” he said, ducking his head to make eye contact, a small, almost wistful smile on his face.

  Deja assumed the wistful gaze she saw there was a figment of her imagination, and she vowed to remember it tonight in bed with her favorite vibrator.

  4.

  October

  “By now, I’m sure you’ve all seen the new university home page, with the scrolling personal interest stories…”

  Deja tapped her right foot against the table leg in annoyance, ignoring the rest of that supremely dry sentence. Even though she’d seen this item on the pre-circulated meeting agenda, she still couldn’t believe the committee was forcing them to listen to – she checked her watch for the fourth time in as many minutes – a twenty-minute conversation from the Head of Information Technology Services about random and unnecessary upgrades to the website. She didn’t care – like at all – and she wasn’t going to pretend she cared when the campus internet was too slow most days to stream a YouTube video for her lectures. They had bigger issues to attend to, but the tediousness of the Faculty Senate meant there wouldn’t be enough time to deal with their slow Wi-Fi when some bored technology manager who’d spent months rewriting the we
bsite’s code had the floor to giddily tell any and everyone who was willing – or forced – to listen all about it.

  Normally, she would have been able to avoid her annoyance by simply ignoring this kind of dry presentation, but her laptop had died and like an idiot, she’d left her charger in her office. Marie was grading a small batch of quizzes to her right while Toni was tweeting about the latest Supreme Court decision to her left. And all Deja could do was check her email on her phone and watch as that battery died as well.

  So, to preserve her cell phone as long as she could, she decided to people watch instead and thankfully, the Faculty Senate was full of nothing but personal interest stories. She looked around and spotted a few faculty members watching the presentation with rapt attention. Deja couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes at their nerve, even if they were only a small fraction, because no one should encourage this kind of boring behavior. Most of the faculty Deja saw were either dozing quietly or working on their computers and she rolled her eyes at them too because she was jealous of their productivity.

  She sighed quietly to herself as her eyes continued moving around the room. until she found him. Alejandro’s laptop was open on the table in front of him, obscuring Deja’s view of his bright white shirt and midnight black tie; both far too well-tailored for this entire campus. By contrast, his computer gave off a much less serious vibe than his clothing. There was a sticker of Rigoberta Menchu on the upper right corner and a Che Guevara decal over the apple insignia.

  Deja sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. She knew she should move her attention elsewhere, but she didn’t want to and if she couldn’t grade, she wanted to look at Alejandro for a little bit longer. It wasn’t like she had anything more interesting to occupy her time. Besides, as far as she was concerned there wasn’t anything more interesting than his five o’clock shadow, so she gave herself the permission to stop pretending and enjoy the view.

  Deja wouldn’t fully admit the depth of it to Toni or Marie, but her crush on Alejandro was much more intense than they knew, despite the teasing. She’d first met him at a faculty of color mixer a month into her first semester as a newly minted PhD and assistant professor. It had been just a quick introduction and handshake – nothing to write home about – but to Deja it had been something to remember. And once she knew he existed, she felt like she saw him everywhere; she couldn’t escape just a glimpse of him across the Oval or down the hall. Not that she wanted to escape him.